Oh boy, this is a tough one...being asked a question you don’t want to answer, or asking a question you don’t want to hear the answer to, but maybe—possibly—already know it in your gut. ⠀ ⠀
So not pretty.⠀ ⠀
Do you tell a lie (or "half-truth"...which is basically the same thing) to avoid the difficult conversation and scary idea of hurting your Love? Or, do you lean in and recognize that compatibility takes vulnerability and courage?⠀ ⠀
How do you react when you're asked a crucial question? Do you ramble nervously and change the subject? (Spoiler alert: That response will surely leave your partner suspicious and unfulfilled and the topic will almost certainly re-emerge with more urgency.) Do you quickly say the answer you think they want to hear and pray it doesn’t come back up again? (Note: With rest-of-your-life-til-death-do-us-part questions, the important ones never just go away….) ⠀ ⠀
What if you accidentally hit a topic that touches on something you’re not ready to explore yet: How do you tell your partner without upsetting them? Most important, how do you create a comfortable and safe place for deep conversations?⠀ ⠀
Solution: Have a conversation with your partner about having conversations with your partner.
Lay some ground rules. Learn the best ways to discuss big, important topics by figuring out what approaches shut each of you down or fire up your collective defenses.⠀ ⠀
Every couple’s approach to having crucial conversations will be different. Take your time and be interested in how your Love responds best to talking. If you can look at things from their perspective, you’ll meet in the middle. Because better now than later.⠀
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