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  • Writer's pictureParker

Infatuation vs. Compatibility

If someone asked you to make a decision that would affect the rest of your life while you were under the influence of a narcotic would you trust yourself to make the right choice?

Signs you are infatuated:

⚡️Inability to think clearly

⚡️Preoccupied to the point of distraction

⚡️Dramatic changes in your behaviors and attitude

⚡️Nervous energy (butterflies in your stomach)

⚡️Irrational willingness to compromise on things that were once untouchable

Signs you are compatible:

⛰Strength and confidence in your relationship

⛰Deep satisfaction when you physically touch

⛰Confidence in your ability to face life’s challenges

⛰Certainty in your commitment to each other

⛰Emotional peace

⛰Shared values

Infatuation is a powerful drug. In fact, many of the chemical and biological reactions we experience when we “fall in love” are similar to the reactions that we would get through narcotics. Even the most rational of thinkers can become addicted to feelings of affection. It is a thrilling high and incredible to experience.

Compatibility, on the other hand, takes the rush of affection and strong attraction that you started with and adds in commitment and alignment. It strengthens the connection between you both and gives it depth beyond the physical or emotional allure that brings us initially together.

In other words...our goal should always be to mature infatuation into compatibility.

American author Gary Chapman would argue that you can’t truly “love” someone when you are in the “falling in love” stage, because your strong physical and emotional sensations override your rational choices and ability to form deep connections. Most research these days suggests that “falling in love” feelings can last about 3 years before they start to diminish or evolve. Interestingly, research suggests that most people date for about 2 years before they get engaged. Do the math. 😬

This doesn’t mean that infatuation is bad. It’s a unique and wonderful sensation that everyone should experience. If you learn to recognize the difference between infatuation and when you've discovered true compatibility, you’ll create some objective space for you to make the best decisions possible.


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