One of the most common potential ruts that's so seemingly benign, we don’t even consider it a potential rut, is when both of you come home after a long day apart and eat dinner in front of the TV. (Harmless, right?) I freely admit it’s a total release to decompress or get caught up on news together by vegging out in front of the TV...but what happens when this becomes the unspoken norm? I know I wasn’t there with you, but I can almost promise that in your early courtship days, that was not your setting of choice for a romantic dinner and reconnection time! Accidental relationship habits happen all the time, to everyone, and they’re easily correctable by increasing your awareness, and keeping each other accountable. Even sex can become routine if you let it. Example: Is there a “normal” time you two get it on? When was the last time you slowly undressed your partner? Is there an assumption about who will initiate without deliberately expressing how much one of you craves the other? It’s these routines/shortcuts/accidentally acquired habits that slowly and unknowingly extinguish the flame of desire...so don’t let them! Choose to act like you did back when you were courting—the flirting! the creativity! the nervous sexual excitement!—and make your partner the purpose of your day...not just a part of it. Spontaneity is king when it comes to keeping things fresh, so ask yourself on the regular: “When was the last time I did something completely unexpected that changed up our routine?” and mix it up, starting tonight! Your decision to act—coupled with awareness and very little effort—will take you far with your partner no matter how long you’ve been together. So turn off the TV and trust me. Change starts with choice: Yours.