There’s something beautifully and quietly connective about knowing your partner’s history—blood type, dominant hand, social security number, ancestry—especially when those deets have nothing to do with you or your day-to-day relationship.
As a girl, I was keenly aware of the random details of my father’s life that my mother knew stone cold…stuff that had nothing to do with her: his college major; his mum's maiden name and her spot in the birth order among her sibs; what my dad did in the Coast Guard; what my father’s father died of when my dad was only 3.
I loved that my mother paid attention to his background, and that if someone needed info about about him, she could answer on his behalf as well as he could. Maybe better. All because she listened. And, because she cared.
Takeaway? Partner with someone who knows your history.
How? Good listeners are awesome…but the relationship goal is to partner with someone who ALWAYS craves more when you’re done talking. So before declaring that your love's your BAE for all time, strike up some next level conversations that dig deep enough into #TheGoods (theirs, and your own!) so you know, beyond a doubt, that they authentically care about what led to your being "you" before you two were a "we." Knowing someone’s history is priceless; it’s definitely not a given (we know from experience); and it’s what helps keep family stories alive for generations of the world to come. (Plus, it feels effing good!)
