Have you ever gotten into an argument because your partner spent money on something without discussing it with you first?
When you take a step back, you’ll realize that “a lot” is relative and arbitrary. It means different amounts to different people: To someone who comes from little means, “a lot” may be $100; for someone who comes from abundance, it may be $10,000.
Discovering what your partner considers to be a large sum of money can also lead to a growth mindset. Pooling your collective resources can suddenly make the formerly-out-of-reach, possible. Or perhaps it leads to a discussion about savings and frugality. Investing in your future. Nice-to-have luxuries vs rainy day savings. Regardless…seeing things from a different angle can be liberating.
So, what is “a lot” in your relationship? When finances are the result of your collective efforts, make sure you are on the same page about your spending habits. What was fine as a single person, may cause some real challenges as a couple.
This is EXACTLY the way we work too. Having transparency and freedom can be a tricky balance, but it sounds like it's working well for you two!
We have a joint checking account, and we share a Google spreadsheet to track all of our finances, including monthly budget and spending, credit cards, net worth, etc. We each update it daily in real time. The best thing we've ever done was to assign ourselves each a monthly "fund" - consider it an allowance, if you will - that we have to spend completely freely with no questions asked. Any spending outside of our personal funds or agreed-upon monthly budget entails a discussion and agreement. It works! We NEVER argue about money.