For fans of social media, snapping an in-the-moment pic and sharing it with your interweb circle satisfies many basic human desires: validation, sense of belonging, approval, popularity (and then there’s that scientifically proven chemical high when our snaps get attention and engagement). We've been there: Especially in new relationships, if you’re an avid social sharer, you’re getting some newfound joy from telling a curated story that reveals your courtship’s memorable moments…but sometimes, content can get posted that makes one partner feel excited and the other feel unexpectedly exposed.
Once posting becomes a habit, it can be a hard one to break; and as with other habits, it can impact your partner. So here’s the rub: Do you know how your partner feels about social media? Do you know how they feel about what you share, and have you talked with them about the boundaries of what’s okay and not okay with them to broadcast? If your conversations lead you to realize that one of you is social-savvy and the other avoids it like the plague, it’ll be in the best interest of your relationship’s #socialcompatibility to find a balance that satisfies each of you.
Something else to consider is that the very act of social media posting can affect our ability to be present and in the moment (…something we talked about a few posts ago when we brought up whether you and your partner live more in the past, present or future).
For instance:
Have you ever had a romantic moment obliterated because of your partner’s inopportune need to photo-and-post first?
Do aspects of your dates feel designed around what would make a good story?
Are you frequently frustrated by the interruption of your partner’s iPhone coming out to post your relationship’s best moments...and then having them track the engagement of said post?
Does your partner ever mistake your "social love-note posts" to them as unnecessary invites to friends, family and strangers into the inner sanctum of your relationship?
About that last one: If your relationship with social media is more voyeur than influencer, there’s yet another caveat in this conversation to consider.
We all know what it’s like to scroll feeds filled with declarations of love, compliments of accomplishments, funny moments, and date-night pics, and from our “follower” viewpoint, we get diverse insights on the daily into the private lives of couples we know (and many we don't). It's important to remember that most posts focus on the positive...meaning, that look you're getting into other couples' loves is highly filtered. Comparison will rob you of your joy in your own relationship, so take what you see with a big ol' grain of salt.
Since we know from experience that questions like this can be extremely uncomfortable to bring up, click here to download our easy-to-digest PDF outlining helpful hints for having the kind of talks that raise the vibration of your relationship’s #consciouscompatibility. Sure, we're biased; but we think you should check it out. If your social-sharing convo leads you to realize that one of you is Insta-savvy and the other avoids it like the plague, it’ll be in the best interest of your relationship’s #socialcompatibility to find a balance between openness and privacy that satisfies you both. A meaningful way to do that is through some good ol’ fashioned honest talk…face-to-face, with phones down and IRL. #becausebetternowthanlater