Which Couples Inspire Your Partner?
Quick: Which couples inspire your partner? Who do they talk about or find riotous, loving, sexy, or powerful? Pay attention to when they comment about how your couple friends speak to each other, or about the “adorable” video Kristen Bell posted about Dax Shepard last week. Learn what captures their attention, and then find ways to inject your own take on it into the spontaneous moments of your relationship to keep things fresh. Is it the way certain couples look at each other? The things they say? How about the way your IRL friends speak about their BAE when they aren’t around? The gestures and gifts. The shared jokes. The deep respect. Sometimes it’s the entirety of the relationship we witness; sometimes it’s specific parts. We can find inspiration from that which we observe and aspire to achieve. Even the best couples can fall into ruts, so daily habits may need a shot of creativity to liven things up. By learning who your partner admires (and why) you gain awesome insight into things that they might want but haven’t asked for. Call it blatant research or innocent curiosity—either way, you’re learning more about what they like. Just be sure to always spin things your way: By “borrowing” ideas and making them your own you’ll show your partner you are paying attention and making an effort to keep things fresh. (Bonus: what a nice compliment to your friends too!) However...be careful not to fall into the trap of comparison since healthy admiration is very different than wishing your spouse was more like someone else. Be particularly careful if your partner is the jealous type: you don’t want them to become insecure or anxious. You always have the power to change your own behavior, but trying to change anyone else’s is probably not going to end with the result you want. But actively communicating about likes and dislikes can be revolutionary for couples’ creativity. The circles we keep and the couples we admire (real or even celebrity) can be awesome sources of inspiration to keep the home fires burning. We’re surrounded by beautiful relationships. Seek them out. And remember: You could very well be someone else’s inspiration, too.