If you needed to relocate for work, family, or school, would your partner be willing to move with you?
For some, moving is a deeply troubling venture that equals dramatic change and unwelcome challenge. Others view it as a fresh start filled with adventure and the promise of experiencing a new location and culture. Personally, I know friends who have moved their families (with kids) and literally “toured” the world...experiencing a new job and a new city every 5 or 6 years. On the other hand, I have friends that are now living in the house they grew up in with their own families. Obviously, there’s no wrong approach. But knowing your partner’s tolerance for change—how rooted they are in their current local world versus their openness to embracing a new life in a foreign place—is helpful in anticipating what could be a disruptive situation whether you’re leapfrogging across your state’s line or considering an expansive move around the world.
Leaving the familiar is so scary for some people that moving outside their comfort zone paralyzes them. So if you’re faced with this possible situation, preemptively asking some of our #cohabiquestions may ensure that they won't harbor resentment about the need to sacrifice what they are tied to.
Consider some of these questions to gauge their appetite for change:
• Are their families local or scattered across the map?
• Where are they in their career, and how much does their job depend on being at their current office? Could they do their job virtually?
• How tied are they to their local friends and their traditions?
• How much have the invested in setting up their life in their current location?
• Is “home" a specific building in a specific town and specific neighborhood, or is it “where they hang their hat?"
• Have they ever lived in another part of the world?
• Have they ever pushed themselves outside of their comfort zone?
• Have they ever daydreamed about leaving it all behind and starting fresh?
• Or have they stayed close to their local roots without exploring beyond what they know?
• Do they have a hard time meeting new people?
• For some, this would be an overwhelming and entirely unhappy chore.
• For others, they can’t wait to expand their circle and make new friends from different places.
Remember: Many reasons may influence why someone hasn’t ventured far from home that aren’t of their design (George O’Malley’s unwanted familial responsibilities in the classic It’s A Wonderful Life comes to mind) so be careful not to make assumptions. Asking your partner how they might feel about the possibility of relocating can give you some great insights into their appetite for adventure, and may even lead you on some exciting, less permanent adventures in the meantime.