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  • Writer's pictureParker

Housework Priorities.

Think of how many housekeeping arguments could be avoided if you simply understood each other’s tendencies for WHEN you each prefer to tackle chores:

⏰ Do you postpone as long as possible?

⏰ Or do get them out of the way quickly so you can move on to more enjoyable things?

Next, imagine that your partner’s tendency is the OPPOSITE of yours. When it comes time to do necessary weekday/end chores, who do you think will end up taking their unfair portion (while becoming increasingly resentful of the other being “lazy”)? On the flip side, imagine feeling quietly or overtly judged about how much (or little) you seem to care about doing what it takes to help the house run well...knowing you’ll get to stuff, but on *your* timeline.

And now...quietly repeat—week after week—until it hits an argumentative boiling point.


Before throwing dirty dishes at each other, consider...

➡️ Asking each other about housecleaning preferences to find a common understanding.

➡️ Recognizing that your partner doesn’t want to nag any more than you want to be nagged, but they may not be able to enjoy their free time until tasks are done.

➡️ Acknowledging that the other partner isn’t lazy, they just prefer some fun/relaxation time after work or on a weekend morning before continuing the grind from their long week.

➡️ Honoring (and appreciating) the cleaning partner’s dedication to keeping a nice space. Chances are they’d rather do anything but clean, but they do it because they‘ve observed it means much more to them.

When you’re single and master of your own domain, this isn’t a problem. Once you cohabimate with your partner, adjustments may be needed. Assume you each have a good reason for your preferences, and keep an open mind to find a common ground.

1 Comment

Jul 07, 2019

When Todd moved in with me, I found that I was doing all of the house cleaning, and I didn't want to come across as a "nag," so I just kept doing it and grew more resentful with each passing day. In hindsight I know that he would have happily helped; he just didn't really know what to do since he'd moved in to my home. Finally one day I declared that I was hiring a weekly housekeeper, and we've had one ever since. The best money we've ever spent! With that said, we're both very neat and clean people, and we take equal responsibility in taking out the trash and recycling, doing dishes, keeping the house neat, taking care…

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